LOVE OR FEAR

The relationship you have with your kids will either negatively or positively affect their lives as they develop from a child into an adult. On these particular day, I came back from work some few minutes to six in the evening. As I emerge through the gate, my neighbour's kids, John and his sister, Ruth, aged 6 and 4 were already both at my side welcoming me. For some weeks now I have noticed that they are always alone, just the two of them, always arround to welcome me. As they ushered me to my door which they are always eager to reach and go through, I heared John say "my daddy will always stay at that his stupid block shop and will not want to come home on time" before I could react to his words, his sister added " yes our daddy closes early but comes home late" I immediately wanted to rebuke them but instead quickly opened the door and they happily followed me in. They are now used to staying at my place until well after 9, the time their father usually comes home. I later reflected on it and I have come to pity and take sides with them. They obviously knew that once it's 7p.m, their daddy should leave his now dark block shop and come to them. they also seem to accepttheir mother's absence ( she normally works night shifts) and as such they expect love and attention from their dad but they are not getting it. In some other scenerio, kids live in utter fear and terror, even under the same roof with their parents and this shameless terrorist may either be the mother or the father. In Nigeria today, mothers in failed marriages tends to be very hostile to the child who is the product of an unfortunate relationship. While some fathers instill fear not only on their kisds but the entire family. Such is the unimaginable damage that the child ends up as the worst hit. Kids like this grow up developing multiple inferority complex, lacking confidence and trust. They are always withdrawn to themselves. When daddy the tormentor is arround, the kids no longer talks freely. They talk in hushed voices and in whispers. When he shouts, they scurry in fear away from him and as such they never show and reach their God-given potentials. For a child not to be damaged irrepairable, society should watch closely the ralationship that a child gets from his or her immediate enviroment. It should be the love therapy and not the otherwise because love makes them bold, free and intelligent, gives them confidence so that they learn how to take reasonable and healthy risk. And above all love gives them the opportunity to appreciate life and to express love to others. Encouragely enough in Nigeria, current trends show that a lot of parent are giving quality love and time to their family but a larger chunk of the society too can't do the same because of poverty.