COPING WITH PROBLEMS THAT CHANGES BRINGS IN A RELATIONSHIP

As with all things under the universe, changes and adjustments are bound to occure, and it's no exception in every relationships. As you look at loving relationships, while it's clear that many will succeed, it's also clear that many are ultimately bound to fail. Typically people and their relationships changes and as this changes sets in, it becomes increasing paramount for partners or lovers to be willing to change in their response patterns towards each other. Often times, differencial prefernce between two people becomes glaring, with time and change to allow for a true, comfortable and fulfilling loving relationship.

Usually when changes sets in, what formally used to be a charming idiosyncrasy might in time become a grating nuisance. What seemed to be a sexual turn on may now become boring and humdrum. At these juncture, both or one of the partners lacks the sincerety, and desire to take the relationship to a higher level of true commitment. For example, a man may not well be motivated or have the desire to father a child at a time when his partner is desperate to have one. If not well handled, such relationship may eventually end up with either one or both choosing to end the affair and the bottom line here is that love holds no guarantees. Thus there is a lesson here to learn; that no matter how much couples or lovers profess love to each other, there is no guarantee that either both or one will not go against their commitment and choose to end the relationship.

Knowing, understanding and feeling good about onesself is very essential before going into a relationship because, to choose to love and enter into a relationship is risking to get hurt. Loving leaves one vulnerable and defenceless. Loving leaves one unprepared for an eventual breakup and how well one soaks up the pains and shock of an aftermath heartbreake is very crucial. Thus, reactions and/or actions that follows before and after the end of a relationship may quite vary with the nature of the breakup. If the final days of a relationship have been characterised with unhappiness, troubles and turmoil, deciding to end the relationship maybe the best and welcome relief. Anger too, an emotional reaction, if well used, represent healthy response that will not lead to depression and self depreciation. Crying too, they say "fixes all situation". Allowing yourself to cry is to truely experience it. Rushing to put the pain of a broken relationship behind you and hurrying to go into another isn't the answer. Grieve and rack the body with sobs so that all the pains and hurt are drained away. Also as the saying goes "time heals all wounds", giving yourself some time is also good. Time gives you the chance to be once more confident and trusting. So take time to learn and forget all the pains and disapoitment. Take time to recognise that losing a love is as much as a part of of life and loving as the joyful experience of falling in love. You will find out that allowing yourself to experience this process and seeking the help and support you need to get through it, you will then be able to put the painful past behind you and get on with life, eventually in a new and better relationship.